MESSAGE OF MONTH

PARENTING (Ephesians : 6 :1-4)

In the beginning God established the family as the first of all human relationship, from that family, God built society. Nothing has changed. The family is still the foundational unit of society. In fact no church, no community or no nation is any stronger than the families that make it up.

If that is true, then each of us should double our efforts to ensure that our families are all that they should be, husbands and wives have a God given obligations to love one another for the Glory of God. Parents have a God given obligation to create a home that allows their children to be all they have been designed by the Lord to be.

What Bible teaches concerning marriage relationship, what God sets before us, let's see the truth that God has here for our families.

VS: 1-3: - God's word to the Growing One's: -

There is a clear word: -

Upto this point our series has pretty much neglected the role of children in the family. This passage however has a very clear word for children and young people.

He Speaks about Actions: -

Children are to obey their parents, which means 'To submit to' to comply with. It can literally means 'To hear under ' which means that a child is to listen to the voice of his or her parents attentively and they are to respond to what they hear with perfect submission. They are to do as they are told.

This obedience in the home lays the foundation for obedience throughout life, everything in God's universe can be boiled down to obedience, and only humanity is the only part of God's creation that walks in rebellion to the revealed word of God. 

As children learn to obey their parents, they are setting the stage for obedience throughout their lives. They are learning respect for authority, and, they are learning to obey the other voices of authority, school, office, Government administration or elders etc. that will become part of their lives later on.

He Speaks about attitudes: -

Children are also told to 'Honor' their parents. The word 'Honor' means to respect. This speaks about a child's attitude toward what his parents tell him to do. A wicked child may obey the voice of his parents but secretly despise them in his heart. He may obey outwardly but while he is carrying out their orders, he may be talking about them, cursing them or talking back under his breath that is the wrong attitude.

Children should have great respect for their parents, they should be careful not to back talk to their parents.

When children learn to respect their parents in the home they grew up with a natural respect for other people. Children who honor their parents have little trouble honoring the Lord other authority figures, or other people. A child, however who will disrespect his parents will usually have little respect for others. This fact is plain to see as our world has become increasingly filled with rude, insensitive, self-centered people.

We are living in a day when many children are displaying clear disrespect for their parents, how? Back talking, grumbling, disregarding, instruction, speak disrespectfully, acting like a 'I know it all' refusing to listen etc. others do it through delinquency crime, drugs, alcohol and other godless activities etc. adult children are often guilty of ignoring their aging parents and failing to minister their needs. Nearly all children fail when it comes to gleaning from the years of wisdom and life experience continued in the minds of the parents, 1Tim; 5:4,8, Prov; 20:20, 30:17, Exo: 20:12, Deut: 27:16.

There is a Conditional word: - The 'Phrase' in the Lord, while a child is told to obey his parents, that obedience is conditioned by the behavior of the parents. When a command of a parent contradict the clear teaching of the Bible, the child just like anyone else has an obligation to put the Lord and His will first. Of course, this truth runs through every areas of life. No parent, no spouse, no authority figure in our lives has the right to command us to do something illegal, immoral or that contradict the Word of God. We are to always place God and His will ahead of the will of others.

There is a Clarifying Word: - We are told in verse: 2b and 3 that obeying one’s parent brings God’s promise of blessing upon the child. When a child honors his parents, he is honoring God, and, God always blesses those who honor and obey Him.

God’s promise to obedient children is that they will enjoy improved quality of life (“That it may be well with thee”) and improved quantity of life (“And thou may live long on the Earth). The Lord will bless that child who honors his parents so only some of us obey our parents, what about rest?

There is a Challenging Word: - Verse: 1, Again we read as “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right”. That statement reveals to the child, why he should obey and honor his parents, because this act signifies he/she is right in the sight of the Lord, they have to do so because it pleases the Lord.

VS: 4: God’s Word to the Guiding Ones: - There is a word to the ‘Growing one’s and there is a word to the “Guiding Ones”. The word “Fathers” can refer to both parents in this content. Paul now turns his attention from the children to the parents.

Paul’s words were very necessary for the society in which he lived. In St. Paul’s era families were even more dysfunctional than they are today, in our days, wicked Parents still abound. 

A recent study found that the primary reason most children and up in foster care is not divorce, death or finance, but simple disinterest on the part of the parents. They simply do not care about the welfare of their child, in their greediness of money accumulation.

There is a Cautioning Word: - We are told to provide not your children to wrath. “This phrase refers to a platform of treatment that builds up resentment in the child. How does a parent” provoke a child to wrath”, there are many ways.

Being over Protective: - Often parents will refuse to allow their children to grow up and make decisions, equal to their age and maturity. Young people resent being treated like they are more immature than they actually are.

Playing Favorites: - Comparing one child with another is always the wrong thing to do . Look at the problems caused in the lives of Isaac and Ishmael, Jacob and Esau. The problems that began then are still playing out today.

Unrealistic Expectations: - Children, who are always under pressure to achieve more, bigger and greater things, can become resentful. Let our children be children. Remember that not every child is an, a student, not every child is an athlete, a cheer leader or model. Let them be who designed them to be. Remember that we should never try to relieve our own childhood through our kids.

Constant Discouragement: - Children resent constant criticism and nagging. No child should ever hear “You are no good; you will never amount to anything”. Parents should seek to find an area when the child excels and find ways to compliment them on their achievements. Children need approval and encouragement far more than they need criticism and correction.

Label them a Nuisance: - Children should never be made to feel that they are “In the way”. They should feel loved and secure in their families. They should feel like they are a part of the home and the parents are happy and thankful to have them there. A child that feels unloved and unwanted is a child headed for trouble later in life.

Trying to mature them too quickly: - Often, parents expect these child to be more mature than they are, parents should not be expected to act like they are twenty five when they are eight. They might respond by acting like they are eight when they are twenty five.

Using love as Reward or a Punishment: - That is we love our children when they are good and withdraw our love when they are bad. We make them feel unloved when they do wrong. This is just the opposite of what the Lord does to His children, Heb: 12:6. Children should know they are loved unconditionally all the time; by the way, it wouldn’t hurt us to tell them we love them always.

Using Physical and Verbal Abuse: - Often we over react to the things our children do and carry their punishment too far. No child should ever have to be berated and belittled by a verbally abusive parent. There are times when parents will say harsh cruel things to their children that they would never say to any other person. We are wrong when we attack our children verbally.

There is a Counseling Word: - We have just considered the negative side of the equation, now let’s consider the positive side.

Parents are to enrich their Children: - We are to bring them up; we are to tend them like we would a tender plant. We are to help them reach their fullest potential in the Lord, we are to help them” Be all they can be”

Parents are to Educate their Children: - It refers to daily discipline of verbal instruction in the ways of life and the ways of the Lord, we have to see that our children learn all that they need while they are under our care, then, when they leave the nest and enter the world they will be prepared for the things, they will face.

Parents are to encourage their Children: - It refers to act of guiding children toward maturity. There are times when we must give them encouragement and, there are times when we must give them discipline. All of these things are used by the wise parents, in the right measure to help their children to be the men and women, as God designed them to be.

Parents are to teach their Children Word of God :-- We are too steep them in the Word of God, not our opinion our preferences or our prejudices. When we teach our children to believe like we do, they will be a as messed up as we are. When we train them in the things of the Lord, they will grow up and live, lives that Glorify and honor God. In all we do for our children, we give them no greater gift than when we point them toward Jesus Christ. If our love, our discipline, our encouragement and our instruction are centered in the Word of God, we will more likely than not raise children that are in the will of God keep God in the center of all we do as a parent.

So children, God loves you and he has a wonderful plan for your life. In His times, He will make that plan known to you, if you are a parent you need to come and make the right because children are not looking for perfect parents, but they are looking for honest parents. An honest progressing parent is a highly infections person – says Howard Hendricks.

Remember, there are some parents, who tried their best, but their children are out of the Lord’s will , why not bring them up before the Lord once more and trust Him, Prov:22:6 is a principle and not a promise whatever the needs, the supply will be found in Jesus.

        Rev.Fr. Sam Oommen Panackamattam